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Dropping your child off at boarding school can feel like a mix of pride, worry, and a hundred other emotions all at once. You’ve made a big decision—and now it’s time for the even bigger moment: saying goodbye. Whether your child is nervous, excited, or pretending they’re totally fine, it’s normal for both of you to feel a little off balance.

The good news? You’re not alone. These simple, thoughtful strategies can help ease the transition—for your child and for you.

1. Pack Confidence, Not Just Socks

Your child will probably feel a mix of excitement and nerves—and so will you. Let them see that you believe in them.

For the child: Remind them that it's okay to be nervous. Confidence builds over time. Try saying things like, “You’re ready for this” or “You’re going to do great.”

For the parent: Talk less about your worries and more about how proud you are. Let your child borrow your confidence. Even if your heart is racing, your calm support helps them feel secure.

2. Leave Behind a Note (or Two)

Tuck a few handwritten notes into their suitcase or backpack. One for the first night. One for when they ace something. One “just because.”

You might say, “We’re so proud of you” or “Don’t forget to brush your teeth! ;-)) ” These little surprises can bring comfort on a hard day.

3. Connect, Then Let Go

Stay long enough to help them settle, but don’t linger until it hurts. A hug, a smile, and “You’ve got this” can go a long way.
(Spoiler: You might cry in the car. That’s okay.)

4. Make a Plan—Then Stick to It

Before you leave, set a date for the first visit or call—maybe a quick call tomorrow or a visit next weekend. That concrete anchor helps both of you feel grounded and helps ease separation.

Avoid the temptation to check in constantly—give them space to grow and build independence. 

5. Manage Your Transition Too

Your child isn’t the only one adapting. Take time for something that fills your bucket—whether it’s a walk, a hobby, or lunch with a friend. A thriving parent sends a strong message: You’ll be okay, and so will I.

6. Focus on the “Why”

Remember the reasons behind this big decision. Maybe your child needed more support, structure, or challenge. Maybe this school just felt like the right fit. When the goodbye feels tough, remind yourself why you chose this path—and that it’s a step forward.

7. Let Them Bring a Bit of Home

Homesickness is normal, especially at the start. Let your child bring something small and meaningful from home: a cozy sweatshirt, a photo of the dog, or a playlist from home can ease homesickness. These small comforts help kids feel more at ease without slowing their independence.

8. Celebrate the Milestone

This is a huge step for your family, and it deserves to be recognized.
Maybe go out for a special dinner before drop-off, or write your child a card to open that night. Take a photo. Say a toast. Acknowledge the moment—it matters.