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Social and Emotional Issues

Openness to Learn Cultivates a Sense of Optimism

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Wednesday, October 21, 2020

A Black High School Student’s Experience on a Predominantly White Campus

By Aliyah Knudsen

When I was a freshman, I went to St Mary’s High School in Lynn, Mass. It’s a brick building that looks like a prison, but not in a bad way. A lot of the students are children of immigrants: first-generation Americans who are just trying to live up to the expectations of their parents, who moved to Massachusetts to give them better lives. Most of my classmates came from low-income houses and they struggled in school. When I talked to my friends, I said things like “sup ‘cuz” and “is mad brick outside.” As a Black student, my year at St. Mary’s was the first time that I was surrounded by more students who looked like me than didn’t. I didn’t stick out. No one paid more attention to me just because of the color of my skin. I was just another one of the Black kids. 

Fast-forward one year and I was a sophomore, starting once again at a new school: Landmark High School. I came to Landmark to figure out strategies to help me learn better. I had always struggled with paying attention in school and understanding the content I was being taught. Starting my year at a new school was tough, but it was made even harder by the fact that I felt like I had to consciously change a lot of things about myself. I had to dress differently and speak differently. I went from feeling like I blended in to feeling like eyes were on me at all times. At Landmark, everyone knows who I am whether I’ve talked to them before or not. Teachers constantly tell me to “keep my head down.” When they say that, they’re telling me to mind my business, do my work, and stay out of trouble. Sometimes I wonder if they say that to white students too. Or do they just also realize that I’m more likely to get in trouble for something because I stand out? 

Racial Climate Creates Expectations

I’ve always known I was different from most of the other students at Landmark, but I never felt that different until this year. Something that’s changed this year is that students expect me to constantly have something to say about every race-related issue on campus. Whenever another student says something that they shouldn’t, people always come up to me and say “Did you hear this person said that?” or “Can you believe it?” Not only that, people walk on eggshells around me, like they’re afraid that they’re going to slip up and call me a racial slur. I've learned the difference between students who are simply uneducated about race-related issues in America and students who don’t care about becoming educated. I would like to make it clear: I envy those who have the privilege to not care. I would love to not have to have another conversation about why saying “Black Lives Matter” is not a political statement but instead is a human-rights movement. 

Why Black Lives Matter

When people tell me they don’t understand why “only” Black lives matter, I tell them to think about this: if there’s one building on fire in a neighborhood, the fire department will help the house on fire. They’re not going to spend time spraying their hoses at the houses that aren’t on fire because those houses don’t need their help. This is what I think about when I hear people say “all lives matter.” No one is saying that they don’t, but they’re saying that there’s a community on fire and they need everyone’s help to put the fire out.

Willingness to Foster a Sense of Support and Belonging

Being a member of a minority race in a primarily white school has taught me many things. It’s taught me that I need to be more aware of my actions because I can’t get away with the same things as other students can. It’s taught me that eyes are always going to be on me because I am a minority. It’s taught me that people are going to expect me to be the person who calls people out for making racially charged statements. It’s taught me that a lot of people are going to expect me to educate them instead of taking the time to educate themselves. But it’s also taught me that there are people who are willing to learn. It’s taught me that there are people who are willing to do the work and try to make our campus a place where all students and faculty feel comfortable and supported. 

I’m thankful to go to a school that is willing to have open and honest conversations with their students, and I look forward to seeing what else Landmark has in store for us.

aliyah knudsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aliyah James Knudsen is a senior at Landmark High School. In her spare time, she enjoys skateboarding, going to the beach, and traveling. She plans to pursue a career as an emergency medical technician.

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Tags:  black lives matter Landmark School racial justice

Holden Caulfield and Me

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Thursday, October 10, 2013

Submitted by Rachel Urbonas, Landmark School Senior, writing to the late J.D. Salinger after having read The Catcher in the Rye

Dear Mr. Salinger,

When I was first assigned your novel, The Catcher in the Rye, I was expecting another bland piece of literature said to be a ‘classic must read’ that I would have to force myself to interpret. However, I had no idea that this book (written before I was born) could paint such an accurate picture of my life. I felt an immediate connection towards Holden Caulfield, a mirror image of myself. Holden, struggling to feel like he belongs in the world, connected with me on a deep level. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age, which made me feel like I was different – an outcast. I no longer felt like an equal to my friends and classmates. In my eyes, I was a lesser person and I didn't belong.

Holden tells his history teacher, he's trapped on “the other side” of life – a world which he feels he does not belong in. When I was younger, I struggled in school, I struggled with friendships and acceptance: always searching for a social group where I wouldn't be called stupid or retarded. The burden of needing to belong was always in the back of my mind. Years after being diagnosed, I was told I would be transferring into a new school for dyslexic children. I was terrified. I lost countless nights of sleep stressing over how I would not make friends and that I was still going to be an outcast. My whole life was about to change.

Similarly to Holden's character, I hated change. It was as if everything I knew was being ripped away from my grasp and I could do nothing except watch. For self protection, I isolated myself from others – a similar tactic Holden used. Going into a new school as an eighth-grader was difficult. Everyone had known each other for years and I was just entering their world, alone. I spent countless days crying and beating myself up for things I couldn't change. I was mad at myself for being this way. I hid, staying clear of new people, pitying my own impairment.

I needed to grow up, to realize that feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to change anything. Holden faced the same fears. Holden envisions his superficiality of adulthood, believing that the world is filled with “phonies” or “shallow” people. Before I changed schools, I put myself into the same mindset just because I was angry. I thought it was other people's fault for being the way I was; therefore, giving me an excuse to isolate myself. Holden held on to his childish thoughts about sex and relationships as I held on to my childish thoughts that everyone should feel bad for me and let me slide through life just because of my dyslexia. I soon came to realize that my insecurities about my disability were what set me apart from others. All the self doubt and criticism pushed me to prove myself wrong. I found passion in writing. Even sending this letter to you contradicts something people said I could never do: write.

No one knows the outcome of Holden's decision at the end of the book; to stay and face his problems or run away. I was facing a similar dilemma; to let my disability defeat me or attack it head on. Now I see that my dyslexia is what makes me unique. I no longer think that I have to “belong” in a group or be categorized by my abilities and weaknesses. I no longer isolate myself from situations in which I feel uncomfortable, but attack them head on, ready for any curve ball thrown my way. I am able to say that I have experienced difficulties first-hand that most kids can never fathom. I now understand that being different is what makes people special. I will take this lesson with me, holding off judgments and keeping an open mind.

Thank you Mr. Salinger for helping me see that.

Sincerely, Rachel Urbonas

 

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An Oasis of Dignity

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Thursday, June 27, 2013

Submitted by Donna Hicks, Ph.D.

It was pouring down rain on Friday June 7 — graduation day for the class of 2013 at Landmark High School in Beverly, MA.  This was no ordinary graduation, and the rain did not put a damper on the joy that infused everyone in attendance.

It was victory day for 82 students who struggled with learning challenges early in their lives. As many of them reported, they were headed down a slippery slope in public school, where they felt overwhelmed and depressed. They did not respond to traditional teaching methods that were geared toward the average learner. Given their unique ways of processing information, they needed instruction that was designed for their particular learning style. Their parents found Landmark school—a life-saving educational institution that has graduated thousands of such students for more than 40 years. I call it an oasis of dignity.

I was asked to deliver the commencement speech. It seemed clear that these young people would understand what it meant to have their dignity violated. So many of them suffered from feeling marginalized and shamed simply because they had a different way of learning. Landmark School, with its remarkable faculty and administration, turned that around for them. They were transformed into accomplished graduates, all of them attending college in the fall.

My message to them was simple. I told them that they needed to remember three lessons. These would apply to the next phases of their education, and to all people from all walks of life.

1. You have inborn value and worth. The minute you doubt it, you're heading for trouble. People out there might want to make you feel unworthy; the world can be a cruel place. We humans can do very hurtful things to one another.

Many of us make the mistake in feeling that if someone mistreats us, that there is something wrong with us. It's certainly embarrassing and hurtful when our dignity is harmed but it doesn't mean there is anything personally wrong. It means that something wrong happened to us. Whenever you start to doubt your worthiness, say to yourself, "I'm invaluable, priceless, and irreplaceable.”  That will get you back on track.

2. No one can take your dignity away from you. It is always in your hands. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison and stated, “Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose.” It can be wounded and trampled on, and it needs to be cared for, but you are the only one in charge of your dignity.

When your self-worth is intact, you can get through just about anything. It's the key to resilience. We may need time to heal from the wounds, but it is always there. You may betray your dignity (by losing sight of it) it but it will never betray you.

3. By honoring dignity in yourself and others, you become an outstanding citizen of the world. Success certainly requires technical training and education. However, what is going to set you apart from all the other people competing for jobs and opportunities is your character.

Knowing how to treat people well, how to recognize their dignity, and how to live your life in an honoring way, will not only bring you success, but it will make you the kind of human being that people want to be around. It will make you a leader. Give back some of the dignity that Landmark created for you.  Go out in the world and treat others the way you were treated here. Not only do we make others feel good when we recognize their worth, but we look good, too. When we honor others’ dignity, we strengthen our own.

Learn more about Donna Hicks and her book, Dignity

 

Donna Hicks is the author of Dignity and an associate at the Weatherhead Center for International Affairs, Harvard University. Dr. Hicks delivered Landmark's 2013 commencement address.

 

 

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Tags:  accomplished graduates character commencement address dignity Donna Hicks graduation day Landmark School learning style Nelson Mandela oasis of dignity outstanding citizen Weatherhead Center for International Affairs

Discovering Dignity

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Submitted by Donna Hicks, Ph.D.

After working in the field of international conflict resolution for nearly 20 years, I decided to take some time off in order to write about what I felt was a missing link in our understanding of conflict.

No matter where I was in the world convening dialogues for warring parties, I observed a similar dynamic taking place during the discussions. While the participants were talking about ways to resolve some of the political issues that divided them, there was always another issue present at the table that wasn’t being discussed. It was the elephant in the room that no one had the courage to bring up. Yet, this “unaddressed issue” was making it impossible for the parties to come to an agreement. What was going on? 

It was about their dignity. What they really needed to be discussing was how painful it was to be treated as if they didn’t matter; to be treated in a way that devalued their humanity; not being recognized as human beings, worthy of dignity. This was the missing link that explained why these conflicts were so difficult to resolve. People yearn to be treated with dignity and when they are not, all kinds of conflicts arise.

Although my insights about dignity evolved while working on failed international relationships, what soon became obvious was that it plays a role in all relationships. One negotiator from Colombia once told me that he was grateful to me for uncovering the dignity issues in a political conflict I was there to mediate but said he was most grateful because (in his words): “I think you saved my marriage.”

As an educator, I quickly understood the importance of establishing dignity-honoring relationships in teaching environments. My experience has shown that the quality of students’ learning is enhanced when they feel seen, heard, recognized and treated fairly.  Human beings thrive in a culture of dignity. Learn more about Ms. Hicks book Dignity. Hear more from Ms. Hicks at a TEDEx event. 

donna hicks headshot

Donna Hicks is the author of Dignity and an associate at the Weatherhead Center for International Affairs, Harvard University. Dr. Hicks delivered Landmark's 2013 commencement address.

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Tags:  Colombia conflict resolution dignity dignity-honoring relationships Donna Hicks humanity international relations warring parties Weatherhead Center for International Affairs

Anxiety: What Is It Really?

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Thursday, May 9, 2013

Submitted by: Jane B. Ross

Anxiety is a feeling of fear.  Anxiety is a common response to ambiguity; when we don’t know what’s happening or we don’t know how to respond.  Anxiety is nature’s way of helping us deal with difficult situations. This can be beneficial as it can invigorate us for an exam and it can prevent us from doing dangerous things.  Anxiety can assist us to maintain focus in a critical situation.  But when anxiety becomes excessive it can be debilitating. There is intense dread.

Some examples of anxiety in children and adolescents are separation anxiety, social anxiety and generalized anxiety. Students experiencing social anxiety become overwhelmed or extremely self conscious in social situations. This anxiety may be disabling. They have a chronic fear that others are judging them and they may struggle to make and keep friends.

Students with separation anxiety become easily distressed when separating from their parents. They may worry about being lost or kidnapped or that something might happen to their parents. These students may fear going to school or camp and may avoid play dates and sleepovers.

Students with generalized anxiety also experience excessive worry.  They cannot reduce or eliminate their anxiety even if they realize it is out of proportion or irrational. These students are riddled with self-doubt. They are often paralyzed by thoughts that they will be unable to meet others’ expectations. These students require constant approval and reassurance from teachers and parents.

Students with anxiety exhibit many symptoms including: stomach ailments, sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, startling easily and sweating or trembling around others. Given this, these students avoid many situations, allowing the anxiety to interfere with friendships, family, and with school.

Students experiencing anxiety struggle with vulnerability. Their thoughts include, “since I had anxiety once, it will happen again.”  Typically an escalation in the irrationality of their thoughts occurs; “my anxiety is likely to increase and then I’ll be crazy and lose control”. Students may have ideas of helplessness; “I cannot cope because of this anxiety, so I’ll soon be completely helpless.” Inherent in these beliefs are; “I’m helpless, I’m flawed, and I’m incompetent.”

Most anxieties in youth are normal and temporary. As their emotions are developing, it can be challenging to differentiate between what is a normal fear verses what is atypical. There are opportunities for parents, teachers, and others to guide students in mild distress.  Helping students to identify their feelings is a first step. Introducing students to stress reducing techniques is beneficial as mind and body practices reduce stress while promoting health. Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing are used to increase calmness and relaxation as well as to enhance well-being and are all examples of interventions that can be initiated and practiced at home, at school, and even in the car.

However, if you continue to be concerned about a student, it is important to have the student evaluated by a professional. This evaluation will include an assessment to determine the kinds and severity of symptoms and the extent of interference with peer relationships, familial relationships, and with school functioning.

jane ross headshot

Jane B. Ross is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker. 

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Tags:  anxiety generalized anxiety separation anxiety social anxiety

Thoughts on Mindfulness Meditation

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Submitted by Robert James Campbell, Ed.D., CPHIMS, CPEHR

I am always taken aback when a student or colleague asks if I can teach them how to meditate their stress away using mindfulness meditation practices.  Immediately, I recall something my mentor once told me when I was involved in a relationship with a very difficult person.  He told me:  “Robert, when that person punches you, kicks you, spits on you, kisses you, calls you a dirty name, and runs you over with their car, and it does not bother you, then you are alright. Until then you are not.”  Of course, Father Dave was speaking allegorically, and the import of his words is only heightened by a story told by Dzonger Jamyang Khyentse, a Tibetan Monk.  

Khyentse asks us to consider the cinematographer who goes to the theater to watch a film.  Because of his knowledge, the cinematographer can tell which part of the film has been generated by a computer, where a line has been dubbed, or where the leading actor has been replaced by a stunt man.  Ultimately, this does not ruin the film for the cinematographer, who leaves the theater having enjoyed the picture.  The allegory of both stories and what lies at the heart of mindfulness practice is the question:  can we enjoy life no matter what is happening to us at that moment?

By learning to pay careful attention to our breath, we learn to pay attention to other things in our lives, like the impermanence of our feelings:  one minute you have a stomach ache and the next you are jonesing for a Big Mac.  Or that thought that everything is going to “hell” in a hand basket.  It is just a thought!  Besides, not even US Air has non-stops to “hell.”  Mindfulness practice teaches you to take whatever is happening in your life and use it to learn more about yourself.  The best time for me to practice mindfulness is early in the morning when I wake up.  Generally, at that time, I have a million thoughts running through my head.  To calm my mind, I will sit in a chair, take three deep breaths, and then begin my meditation by breathing in and then breathing out.  That counts as one cycle.  I then try to complete twenty one cycles.  If my mind wanders, I just bring it back to the breath and start over.  This simple practice will help calm your mind at the start of a new day. To discover more about mindful practice, check out Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book: Full Catastrophe Living.

Robert James Campbell, Ed.D., CPHIMS, CPEHR, is an assistant professor of Health Services and Information Management at East Carolina University.

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Tags:  Dzonger Jamyang Khyentse Jon Kabat-Zinn meditation mindfulness

Life After Landmark

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Submitted by Stephanie Johnston

All parents worry, but parents of children who learn differently worry a lot more.  From the time our son started school we worried.  There were vague worries: why isn’t he able to learn, respond promptly, organize himself, etc…There were specific worries: will he ever be able to tie a shoe? Read? Take independent responsibility for himself and his life?

Those of us who are able to get our child into the right academic setting are like survivors of a shipwreck clinging to the edge of a raft with our children safely in the middle. We watch from the sidelines as they gain academic and life skills in a uniquely supportive environment. We are sheltered from the storm for a short time, but always looming on our horizon is the bigger, impersonal world. The older your child becomes, the less accommodating the world at large becomes. The boy must become a man.

Leading up to the big transition from 8th to 9th grade, we worried ourselves sick that our son needed more time in his supportive school to build a foundation. What would happen if we pulled him out too soon? Yet, in the larger context, we knew he would have to make that transition – ready or not – and we timed it so he could enter high school with all of the other incoming freshmen; for better or worse he would be one of them.

When the first day of high school arrived my fervent prayer was that he would “cope and pass”. Our son is a man of few words, but I can tell a lot by his body language. He was waiting with a group of students at pick-up time; he sauntered over to the car loose, jaunty, relaxed… and hungry. The first day was great. Now, halfway through his freshmen year, he is an honor student at a preparatory high school. Some things are harder for him than others. His learning differences are still there but he owns them with an easy confidence. He is fine.

After all these years of intense, urgent, appropriate worry “all of a sudden” it’s coming together for him. When he was at Landmark we parents all worried together. Every child is so different that no two journeys will be the same. Many parents of older children offered me encouragement, telling me our son would be fine, but I was too worried and the future was too murky for me to relax. Now we can see the four years of intense support and instruction that he received at Landmark laid a wonderful foundation for success. Were it not for that, he wouldn’t be where he is now. So with tremendous relief and gratitude, I can say yes, there is life after Landmark and it’s good.

Stephanie Johnston is a parent of a former Landmark School student.

stephanie johnston headshot

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Tags:  academic skills Landmark School learn differently learning differences life skills preparatory school Stephanie Johnston supportive environment transition to high school

31 Days of Kindness

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Friday, January 31, 2014

By Brandi-Lin Ebersole

School is a place we learn facts, methods, and grow our skills. When a teacher sits down to write a lesson she thinks, “how am I going to get them to understand my subject matter?”, “What tools can I use to do this?” and “How am I going to draw them in?”. One typical morning in one of my reading classes, I was quickly writing my lesson agenda on the board, when I overheard students talking about last night’s varsity soccer game. One of my  students had scored a goal and others were praising him. I listened in and let them discuss a little longer.

I then turned around and explained to them why I allowed them to continue to talk, instead of rushing to my lesson. I began sharing a story of a young man named Adam who was seventeen years old just like some of them. He had his life taken from him after winning a soccer championship, all because he was trying to help someone. I explained how my friend Lara, Adam’s sister, annually takes the month of October to honor him by performing 31 days of kindness. For 31 days, Lara offers a different act of kindness each day and blogs about it;  changing her horrifying memory into something redemptive. As I was finishing the story, one of the students chimed in and asked if they too could participate in the  31 days of kindness. I instantly responded, “Yes!”

So for the entire month of October, every class began with a story ranging from buying friends coffee, “just because” to babysitting children to give adults a break. It created a mood in our classroom that was a space for my students to learn a lesson that I did not plan for. It was a lesson that involved the subject of Kindness. They all commented on how good it made them feel and how they were excited to share their daily stories. During the month, my students realized their lives too could be taken in a blink of an eye and in turn wanted to thank Lara for such a great idea. So in honor of Adam, their 31st act of Kindness, was to create a video thanking her and explaining how this challenge had changed them.

Ms. Ebersole's class: Aidan O, James P, Hugh M, and Kyle T

Videography by Ebersole Photography

Brandi-Lin Ebersole is a member of Landmark High School's faculty.

brandi-lin ebersole headshot

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Tags:  acts of kindness Landmark School

Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter Explained

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Tuesday, September 15, 2020

black lives matter protest

 

Members of the Landmark High School administration crafted a thoughtful and meaningful explanation of the Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter movements for the student body. The article provides clarifying examples that will help students understand the intricacies of the movements, which are often misunderstood.

Black Lives Matter is a peaceful movement working to recognize the importance of the lives of Black Americans and fight for racial justice and equality. The organization Black Lives Matter started in 2013 in response to the killing of Trayvon Martin. Since then, organizers have created a network of people who want to raise awareness of inequality to work toward equal treatment for Black Americans. After the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd this spring, people across the United States and the world joined protests in support of the ideas of and organization behind Black Lives Matter. The phrase "Black Lives Matter" is both very important and often misunderstood.

Don’t all lives matter? 

Black Lives Matter means that Black lives matter as much as any other life—not more, not less. The phrase is important because it focuses attention on the many ways in which Black lives have not been treated with respect or equality throughout the history of the United States. Saying “All Lives Matter” in response to Black Lives Matter doesn’t recognize the specific challenges that Black Americans are facing and can imply that Black people have been treated equally. 

So why do people get upset when someone says All Lives Matter?

Here’s one way to think about it:

“Sonya Renee Taylor, author and founder of "The Body Is Not an Apology," likens it to your wife asking you if she's pretty and you responding 'all people are pretty.' It's probably not going to go over very well in your family, right?," said Taylor. "Your wife is probably going to have a problem with that. Because what she wants in that moment is specificity. You know, what's desired in that moment is to be seen in her unique experience with you. And that's what Black people are asking for right now: to be seen in our unique experience in the world. To actually be seen and valued." (Source: CBS News)

Another example is Breast Cancer Awareness month. When athletes and people across the country wear pink in October to support breast cancer, they are not ignoring lung cancer, skin cancer, prostate cancer, or any other cancer. They’re calling for specific attention to an important and particular cause.

What about Blue Lives Matter and Back the Blue?

Similar to All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter is often used in contrast or as an argument to Black Lives Matter. The Black Lives Matter movement is not saying that the lives of police officers (or firefighters) are not as important as Black citizens. The goal is equality. Police officer’s lives matter and Black lives matter.  Police departments provide valuable and often dangerous services to our communities and in our country. Black Lives Matter is not anti-police, but police reform is a significant element in the movement, including discussion on how police departments are funded and how we spend money on policing and community support. There is an understandable level of tension between Black Lives Matter protesters and Blue Lives Matter/Back the Blue supporters as many of the protests were sparked by the death or injury of a Black person in a police-involved shooting.

There are endless articles, podcasts, and lesson plans about Black Lives Matter. A sampling of options is below, and we encourage you to read and listen to a wide array of voices and perspectives to better understand the perspective and experience of Black Americans. 

News Articles about Teenage Activism

Landmark Diversity and Inclusion Advocates Resources

Podcasts

Short Film

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Tags:  black lives matter blue lives matter racial justice social justice back the blue all lives matter teaching racial justice teaching social justice

Anxiety, Stress, and Learning

Blog Type:  Social and Emotional Issues Date Posted:  Tuesday, December 4, 2018

teenage boy showing stress

The number of students who experience anxiety has reached alarming rates. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 32% of adolescents have been diagnosed with anxiety. The National College Health Assessment reports that 64% of college students have experienced “overwhelming anxiety” in the past 12 months. We compiled a multi-part series about students, stress, and anxiety to help you better understand anxiety and stress and to suggest ways to manage them.

 

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